You’re at One of NYC’s Best Private Schools — Now What? A College Admissions Playbook for Freshmen, Sophomores, and Their Parents

The 9th and 10th Grade Window That Shapes Everything

You’ve already cleared one of the most competitive hurdles in education: gaining admission to an elite New York City private school. Whether your child attends Dalton, Brearley, Horace Mann, Spence, Collegiate, Nightingale-Bamford, or one of the other top institutions in the city, the academic foundation is strong, the resources are extraordinary, and the college counseling office is among the best in the country.

But here’s what most families don’t realize until it’s too late: the decisions made during freshman and sophomore year — not junior year — are the ones that most profoundly shape college outcomes. By the time a student sits down to write their Common App essay in the fall of 12th grade, the story has already been written. The transcript is largely set. The extracurricular record is established. The teacher relationships are formed.

This guide is specifically for families at NYC’s top private schools who want to use the 9th and 10th grade years wisely — not by chasing credentials, but by making intentional choices that position students authentically for the most selective college admissions processes in the country.

Understanding Your School’s College Admissions Profile

Not all elite NYC private schools are alike in how they prepare students for college or how admissions officers perceive them. Understanding where your school sits in this landscape is the first step toward a smart strategy.

How Colleges See Your School

Admissions officers at selective universities know every school on this list by name. They have school-specific profiles that include historical data: average GPAs, grade distributions, course offerings, and how past admits from that school have performed in college. When a student from Brearley, Horace Mann, or Dalton applies, the reader already has context for what that transcript means.

This is one of the most valuable — and invisible — advantages your tuition buys. A B+ in an honors course at Brearley, where Niche users report an average SAT of 1520 and the school is ranked #1 for STEM in New York, is read very differently than a B+ at a less rigorous institution. Your school’s reputation precedes your child’s application.

However, this advantage has a flip side. Admissions officers also know that your child is surrounded by extremely accomplished peers. At Horace Mann, with 1,822 students, a dozen applicants from the same school may be competing for a handful of spots at any given university. At Dalton (1,331 students) or Spence (804 students), the numbers are smaller, but the concentration of talent is just as dense.

The implication: your child’s application must stand out not just nationally, but within their own school.

Where Your School Sends Students

Understanding your school’s college placement patterns reveals both opportunities and blind spots.

Schools with the strongest Ivy League and top-5 pipelines — based on where Niche users most commonly express interest — include Brearley (Yale, Harvard, Brown, Princeton, Stanford), Convent of the Sacred Heart (Yale, Harvard, Brown, Duke, Princeton), Spence (Yale, Brown, Harvard, Penn, Columbia), and Horace Mann (Cornell, Brown, Penn, Yale, Columbia).

Schools with strong but broader placement patterns include Dalton (Brown, Cornell, Harvard, Yale, Penn), Collegiate (Brown, Emory, Yale, UChicago, Georgetown), and Nightingale-Bamford (Brown, BU, Penn, Yale, Georgetown).

Schools where placement skews toward excellent-but-less-hyper-selective universities include Avenues (NYU, USC, BU, Cornell, Brown), Poly Prep (NYU, Cornell, Brown, Penn, BU), Columbia Grammar & Prep (NYU, Cornell, Syracuse, USC, Michigan), Berkeley Carroll (NYU, BU, Brown, Syracuse, Tufts), Friends Seminary (Cornell, Penn, Brown, NYU, Syracuse), and Léman Manhattan (NYU, BU, Northeastern, USC, Miami).

None of these patterns are limitations — students from every school on this list get into Ivy League universities. But the patterns reveal where each school’s institutional relationships and counseling expertise are deepest. If your child attends Poly Prep and dreams of Princeton, the path is absolutely viable, but it may require more independent initiative than it would at Brearley, where the pipeline is well-worn.

What Makes Your School’s Environment Unique — and How to Work With It

Academically Intense Schools (Brearley, Horace Mann, Spence, Collegiate)

These schools are known for their rigor, and admissions officers expect transcripts from these institutions to reflect that. A student earning mostly A’s and A-‘s at Brearley or Horace Mann is doing something genuinely impressive.

The opportunity: The academic preparation at these schools is second to none. Students who can thrive here graduate with intellectual skills — analytical writing, research methodology, Socratic discussion — that make the transition to elite universities relatively seamless. Brearley’s and Spence’s science research pipelines, which place students in actual labs at Columbia Medical Center, Weill Cornell, and Memorial Sloan Kettering, can produce publishable research by the time a student applies to college.

The risk: Burnout and perfectionism. At schools where 83-92% of respondents describe the student body as competitive, the pressure to maintain a flawless transcript can crowd out the exploration and risk-taking that actually make college applications compelling. A student who takes every honors course available but has no genuine passion outside the classroom is less interesting to an admissions officer than one who took a slightly less maximal course load and used the breathing room to launch something meaningful.

What to do in 9th and 10th grade: Aim for strong grades, but don’t sacrifice everything for a perfect GPA. Use these years to try things that might fail. Start a project. Join something unfamiliar. The goal is not to build a resume — it’s to discover what actually excites your child so that by junior year, there’s a genuine story to tell.

Progressive Schools (Dalton, Avenues, Berkeley Carroll)

Progressive schools emphasize student agency, interdisciplinary thinking, and project-based learning. Dalton’s century-old Dalton Plan gives students unusual independence through its House, Assignment, and Lab structure. Avenues builds its curriculum around global citizenship and full bilingual immersion. Berkeley Carroll foregrounds creative and ethical thinking.

The opportunity: Students at progressive schools develop exactly the traits elite colleges say they want — intellectual curiosity, self-direction, creativity, comfort with ambiguity. The project-based learning model produces students who can talk authentically about what they’ve built, researched, or created. Avenues students who emerge fluent in Mandarin or Spanish have a genuinely distinctive profile.

The risk: Progressive schools sometimes produce students who are broad but not deep. Because the environment encourages exploration, some students arrive at junior year with a wide range of interests but no clear “spike” — the one area of demonstrated excellence that makes an application pop at the most selective universities. Additionally, the freedom of a progressive environment can lead some students to coast, particularly if they’re not naturally self-motivated.

What to do in 9th and 10th grade: Use the freedom wisely. Explore broadly in 9th grade, but by 10th grade, begin to narrow. Identify one or two areas where your child’s interest is strongest and invest disproportionately there. At Dalton, that might mean using Lab periods for an independent research project. At Avenues, it could mean leveraging the global network or J-Term for something exceptional. The progressive environment is a gift — but only if it leads to depth, not just variety.

All-Girls Schools (Brearley, Spence, Nightingale-Bamford, Convent of the Sacred Heart)

All-girls schools in NYC produce extraordinary college outcomes, particularly in STEM. Brearley and Spence rank #1 and #2 for STEM in New York State — a remarkable achievement for all-girls institutions and a direct rebuttal to any lingering stereotypes about girls in science.

The opportunity: The single-gender environment enables girls to take intellectual risks without the social dynamics that research shows can suppress participation in coeducational settings. Leadership roles are plentiful because every student council president, team captain, and club leader is female. Nightingale-Bamford’s 96% teacher-care rating and 92% student happiness score suggest an environment where girls genuinely thrive. Sacred Heart’s faith-based framework adds a distinctive values dimension that resonates with many college admissions officers.

The risk: Students at all-girls schools can develop an insular view of the world. When the entire peer group shares a similar background and educational experience, it’s harder to develop the perspective-taking skills that colleges value. Some reviewers at Brearley describe middle and upper school dynamics that include cliquishness and intense social pressure.

What to do in 9th and 10th grade: Seek experiences outside the school’s walls. Pursue summer programs, internships, or community work that exposes your child to people from different backgrounds and walks of life. College essays and interviews that reveal only the world of a Manhattan girls’ school are less compelling than those that show a student has engaged with the broader world. At the same time, lean into the school’s unique offerings: Spence’s ISR program, Sacred Heart’s FutureLab and STEAM labs, Nightingale’s leadership development pathway.

Larger Schools (Horace Mann, Avenues, Dalton, Columbia Grammar, Poly Prep)

Schools with over 1,000 students offer an embarrassment of riches in terms of courses, clubs, and athletics. Horace Mann alone has amassed 219 league championships and offers everything from ceramics studios to crew programs. Columbia Grammar offers over 100 unique courses and an Advanced Science Research program.

The opportunity: Breadth. Your child can explore niche interests, find their people, and build depth in areas that simply don’t exist at smaller schools. At Horace Mann, a 10th grader can simultaneously take African American History, sing on the Glee Club, wrestle in winter, and row crew in spring — and every one of those becomes part of a rich college narrative.

The risk: Getting lost. In larger schools, a student who doesn’t actively assert themselves can blend into the background. College counselors managing larger caseloads may not know your child as deeply. The sheer abundance of options can also lead to a scattered extracurricular profile — a little bit of everything, mastery of nothing.

What to do in 9th and 10th grade: Be strategic about visibility. Encourage your child to build a genuine relationship with at least two teachers per year — not just performing well in class, but engaging intellectually: asking questions, visiting office hours, proposing ideas. These are the teachers who will write powerful recommendation letters in 11th grade. In extracurriculars, choose deliberately: commit to two or three activities with the intention of earning leadership roles by junior year.

Smaller and Distinctive Schools (Collegiate, Nightingale-Bamford, Friends Seminary, Léman Manhattan, Berkeley Carroll)

Schools with fewer than 800 students offer intimacy, community, and the guarantee that every student is known. Collegiate’s 662 students report that 100% of parents and students agree that teachers genuinely care. St. Bernard’s 4:1 ratio is the lowest on this list. Friends Seminary’s Quaker identity creates a values-driven culture unlike any other school in the city. Léman’s IB curriculum and international boarding community are wholly unique.

The opportunity: Depth of relationships. At these schools, your child will likely be known by every teacher, administrator, and college counselor in the building. Recommendation letters from these environments tend to be detailed and personal because the writers truly know the student. The college counseling office at a school with 40-60 seniors per year can invest significantly more time per student than one managing 150.

The risk: Fewer options. Smaller schools inevitably offer fewer electives, fewer athletic teams, and fewer clubs. A student whose passion is robotics or competitive debate may find limited opportunities within the school. The smaller peer group also means fewer diverse perspectives and, sometimes, a more socially constrained environment.

What to do in 9th and 10th grade: Supplement what the school doesn’t offer with outside pursuits. NYC is the ultimate campus — use it. If Friends Seminary doesn’t have a competitive math team, join one through NYC Math League or Art of Problem Solving communities. If Léman’s athletics aren’t competitive enough, pursue a club sport. The combination of deep school engagement plus distinctive outside pursuits is extremely powerful in college applications.

The Freshman and Sophomore Playbook: What to Do Right Now

9th Grade — Explore, Engage, Establish

Academics: Take the most rigorous courses your child can handle well — emphasis on “well.” A strong performance in honors courses is far more valuable than a mediocre one in the maximum number of AP classes. At schools like Brearley or Horace Mann where the baseline is already rigorous, focus on earning the strongest possible grades in the required curriculum. Do not sacrifice sleep, mental health, or genuine learning for a marginal GPA boost.

Extracurriculars: Try three to five activities. This is the year for breadth. Join the newspaper, try a new sport, attend club meetings, audition for a performance. The goal is not commitment yet — it’s discovery. Pay attention to what your child gravitates toward naturally, not what looks best on paper.

Relationships: Identify at least one teacher with whom your child can build a genuine intellectual relationship. This doesn’t require a grand gesture — it means engaging authentically in class, asking a thoughtful question after a lesson, or seeking guidance on a topic of interest. These relationships compound over time.

Summer After 9th Grade: Use the summer for one structured experience (a program, a course, a volunteer commitment) and genuine downtime. Pre-professional summer programs designed to pad a resume are not necessary after freshman year and admissions officers are skeptical of them. A student who spent the summer reading widely, learning to cook, and volunteering at a local nonprofit has a richer story than one who attended an expensive “leadership institute.”

10th Grade — Narrow, Deepen, Lead

Academics: This is the year to begin shaping the academic profile. If your child is passionate about science, now is the time to pursue Spence’s ISR program, Columbia Grammar’s Advanced Science Research, or an independent research project at Dalton. If humanities are the strength, seek out the most challenging writing-intensive courses. Begin standardized test exploration: take a practice PSAT, identify whether SAT or ACT is a better fit, and plan a preparation timeline.

Extracurriculars: Narrow from five activities to two or three. Drop what doesn’t resonate; double down on what does. Begin pursuing leadership or increased responsibility in the remaining activities. If your child started a club or project in 9th grade, 10th grade is when it should show growth — more members, broader impact, deeper engagement.

The “Spike” Conversation: By the end of 10th grade, families should be able to answer the question: “What is this student known for?” Not in a calculated, resume-building way, but authentically. The student who is genuinely obsessed with marine biology, urban planning, documentary filmmaking, or constitutional law — and has begun to act on that obsession — is the student who stands out in the Ivy League admissions pile.

This is where NYC’s resources become a superpower. A 10th grader at Nightingale who starts volunteering at the American Museum of Natural History, a Dalton student who begins attending public hearings on city planning, a Horace Mann student who interns at a Bronx nonprofit — these experiences are not available to students in most American cities. Use them.

Relationships: Deepen relationships with two to three teachers. These will become your recommendation writers. College recommendations are most powerful when they come from teachers who have watched a student grow over time, not just perform in a single semester.

Summer After 10th Grade: This summer matters more. Pursue something substantive and aligned with your child’s emerging interests. This could be a pre-college academic program, a research internship, a meaningful work experience, or an ambitious independent project. Admissions officers pay close attention to how students spend the summer between 10th and 11th grade because it reveals what a student chooses to do when the structure of school is removed.

Common Mistakes NYC Private School Families Make

Mistake #1: Treating College Admissions as a Transaction

The most damaging pattern among NYC private school families is approaching college admissions as a series of boxes to check: take the hardest courses, join the most clubs, score the highest on the SAT, hire the most consultants. This produces applications that are technically strong but soulless — and admissions officers at schools receiving 50,000+ applications have finely tuned radar for inauthenticity.

The students who earn admission to the most selective universities are not the ones with the most impressive resumes. They are the ones who have done something real, can articulate why it matters to them, and demonstrate the kind of intellectual and personal depth that will contribute to a college community.

Mistake #2: Ignoring the School’s College Counseling Until Junior Year

Every school on this list has a college counseling office. At many of them — Horace Mann, Brearley, Spence, Dalton — these offices are staffed by former admissions officers from top universities. They have relationships and insight that are genuinely irreplaceable.

Many families don’t engage with the college counseling office until 11th grade, when the process formally begins. This is a missed opportunity. Most of these schools offer early advising, roadmap sessions, or informal conversations beginning in 9th or 10th grade. Take advantage of them. The counselors can help you make smart course selections, identify summer opportunities, and begin shaping the narrative long before applications are due.

Mistake #3: Over-Indexing on Standardized Test Scores

At schools where the average SAT ranges from 1410 (Nightingale, Avenues) to 1520 (Brearley), there is enormous social pressure around test scores. But here is the reality: a student from Brearley with a 1480 SAT is not at a meaningful disadvantage compared to one with a 1540. The difference in the eyes of an admissions officer is negligible. What matters far more is what the student has done with their time.

Prepare for the SAT or ACT thoughtfully. Take the test twice if needed. But do not let test preparation consume months of time that would be better spent on genuine intellectual engagement, creative work, or community contribution.

Mistake #4: Keeping Up with the Joneses

NYC private school culture is a pressure cooker. When a classmate’s older sibling gets into Harvard, when a friend’s parents hire a team of consultants, when the hallway conversation is dominated by college rankings — it’s easy to lose perspective.

The truth: even from the most elite feeder schools, most students do not attend Ivy League universities. And many students who do attend Ivy League schools are not meaningfully better off than those who attend other excellent universities like Tufts, Emory, Michigan, Vanderbilt, or Middlebury. The goal is not the most prestigious name — it is the best fit for your child’s specific interests, temperament, and goals.

Mistake #5: Neglecting Mental Health and Well-Being

Multiple student reviews across these schools — Brearley, Friends Seminary, Sacred Heart, Dalton — describe cultures of intense pressure, anxiety, and in some cases, serious mental health struggles. A student who arrives at college burned out, anxious, and depleted is not well-served, regardless of which university they attend.

Protect your child’s well-being. Ensure they sleep enough, maintain friendships, and have unstructured time. A sustainable pace in 9th and 10th grade is not a sign of weakness — it’s the foundation for a strong finish in 11th and 12th.

Quick-Reference Comparison — Leveraging Your School’s Specific Strengths

Frequently Asked Questions About NYC Private School College Admissions

When should families at NYC private schools start thinking about college admissions?

The most impactful window is freshman and sophomore year — 9th and 10th grade. While formal college counseling typically begins in 11th grade, the decisions that shape a student’s transcript, extracurricular profile, and teacher relationships are made in the first two years of high school. Families who engage with their school’s college counseling office early, even informally, gain a significant strategic advantage.

Do colleges care which NYC private school my child attends?

Yes. Admissions officers at selective universities have detailed profiles for every school on this list — Dalton, Brearley, Horace Mann, Spence, Collegiate, Nightingale-Bamford, and others. They contextualize grades, course rigor, and recommendations against the school’s specific standards. A transcript from Brearley or Horace Mann carries institutional credibility. However, attending an elite school also means competing against highly accomplished classmates for the same university spots.

What SAT scores should NYC private school students aim for?

Average SAT scores at NYC’s top private schools range from approximately 1290 (Léman Manhattan) to 1520 (Brearley). For students at schools in the 1450-1520 range (Brearley, Spence, Dalton, Horace Mann, Collegiate), a score at or above the school’s average puts them in strong standing. For students at schools with lower averages, scoring significantly above the school average can be a differentiator. However, test scores alone do not drive admissions decisions at elite universities — they are a threshold, not a distinguishing factor.

What extracurriculars should NYC private school freshmen pursue?

In 9th grade, prioritize exploration: try three to five activities, including at least one outside your comfort zone. By 10th grade, narrow to two or three activities where your child shows genuine passion and increasing responsibility. Depth and leadership in a few areas are far more valuable than surface-level involvement in many. NYC offers unique resources — research labs, cultural institutions, nonprofits — that students in other cities cannot access. Use them.

How does an all-girls school like Brearley or Spence affect college admissions?

All-girls schools in NYC have exceptional college placement records. Brearley is ranked #1 and Spence #2 for STEM in New York State. The single-gender environment encourages girls to take academic risks, pursue STEM, and develop leadership skills. Admissions officers at top universities are deeply familiar with these schools and value their academic rigor. Students should supplement with coeducational experiences outside school to demonstrate breadth.

Is it harder to get into top colleges from a large school like Horace Mann or a small school like Collegiate?

Both have advantages. At Horace Mann (1,822 students), the breadth of courses, clubs, and athletics is unmatched, but more students may be applying to the same universities. At Collegiate (662 students), the college counseling is more intimate and teachers know every student deeply, but there are fewer extracurricular options. The key at any school is standing out through authentic engagement rather than trying to be well-rounded in every dimension.

Should we hire a private college admissions consultant in addition to the school’s counselor?

A private consultant can complement your school’s college counseling — not replace it. The school’s counselor has direct institutional relationships with admissions offices and writes the school report that accompanies every application. A private consultant like Oriel Admissions adds value through additional essay coaching, strategic planning, extracurricular mentoring, and test prep coordination — especially when started in 9th or 10th grade, before the school’s formal process begins.

What is the biggest mistake NYC private school families make regarding college admissions?

Treating the process as a transaction — checking boxes for courses, test scores, and activities — rather than helping their child develop authentic intellectual passions and personal depth. Admissions officers at universities receiving 40,000-60,000 applications are skilled at distinguishing genuine engagement from resume-building. The families who achieve the best outcomes are those who prioritize their child’s authentic development over credential accumulation.

Final Thought: The Real Advantage Is Already Yours

Your child is at one of the best schools in New York City — which means one of the best schools in the country. The academic preparation, the college counseling, the teacher quality, the peer environment — these are extraordinary advantages that the vast majority of American students do not have.

The families who get the most out of these advantages are not the ones who pile on more pressure, more test prep, and more extracurricular padding. They are the ones who use the 9th and 10th grade years to help their child discover who they genuinely are, what they genuinely care about, and how they want to spend their time. That authenticity — supported by the institutional credibility of an elite NYC private school — is the most powerful college application possible.

Start now. Not with panic, but with purpose.

Oriel Admissions provides expert college admissions consulting for families at NYC’s top private schools. Our 360-degree approach pairs students with dedicated college counselors, writing coaches, career coaches, and project mentors beginning as early as 8th grade. 93% of our students are admitted to one of their top 3 college choices. To learn how we can support your family, contact us today.